My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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