JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
