You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
