the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
