UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just high enough for therapy.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
