Small penises have feelings too.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come see our sink grown plant.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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