If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
