Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
