So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
