Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
