How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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