it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
