New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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