i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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