Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
my being single is dangerous.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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