I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
