I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
