ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
