We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
