yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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