it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You can't special order awesome
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Randomize
