I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
