Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
