We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
