I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm at about main and main street
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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