I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
