the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
you made out with another girl for some wings
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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