it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
