I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dick very happy bro
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize