she was so not down for the gang bang
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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