Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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