His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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