Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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