Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
