I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
