And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
