We're facebook friends in real life
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
