Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Your dad touched me again.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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