We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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