so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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