the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
