You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
