You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
