All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
oh god the rape fog is back!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
