like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
