i just wanna soil my oats bro
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
