pop tarts are not kleenex
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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