I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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