I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
