my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
