direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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