And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
