Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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