lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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