Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
