Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i came on her dog
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
