And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
