After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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