I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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