I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
