Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
