i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
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