i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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