I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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