he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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